Pregnancy is one wild ride, isn’t it? It’s this incredible mix of excitement, anticipation, and (let’s be honest) a sprinkle of nervousness. For plus-size moms like me, though, that journey can come with a whole extra layer of challenges—mostly courtesy of societal biases and good old fatphobia. Yay, right?
But here’s the thing: I didn’t want anyone else’s hang-ups about my body to define my experience. I wanted joy. Confidence. Empowerment. And, spoiler alert: a doula helped me get exactly that. Let me tell you how.
The Not-So-Fun Reality of Fatphobia in Healthcare
Let’s get real for a second. Navigating the healthcare system as a plus-size woman can feel like climbing a hill while people throw unsolicited advice and judgment at you. Add pregnancy to the mix, and it’s a whole new level. Here’s what I encountered:
- Bias and Stereotyping: The automatic assumption? “Plus-size” equals “unhealthy.” Cue dismissive attitudes and one-size-fits-all care plans.
- Blame and Shame: Any bump in the road—no pun intended—was blamed on my weight. As if pregnancy isn’t stressful enough without the guilt trips.
- Lack of Support: Sometimes, options were limited or pushed aside, not because of medical necessity but because of outdated notions about what my body could or couldn’t handle.
It’s exhausting, right? And it’s more than just frustrating—it can seriously mess with your confidence and joy. I knew I didn’t want these biases to overshadow such a special time in my life.
Enter the Doula: My Pregnancy Game-Changer
Okay, confession time: when I first heard the word “doula,” I wasn’t totally sure what they did. Was it like a midwife? A therapist? A magical birth wizard? (Answer: sort of, not really, and close enough!)
A doula is a trained professional who provides non-stop emotional, physical, and informational support during pregnancy, labour, and postpartum. They don’t replace doctors or midwives—they’re more like your birth wingwoman, there to have your back and make sure your voice is heard.
Hiring a doula completely changed my pregnancy journey. Here’s how:
- She Listened. From day one, my doula made me feel seen. She didn’t brush off my fears about weight stigma; she faced them with me. She reminded me my body was strong, capable, and made for this.
- She Educated Me. Options? Risks? Evidence-based advice? She had it all covered and made sure I understood my choices. No judgment. No pressure. Just solid info so I could make the best decisions for me.
- She Had My Back. When I went into labour, she was my fiercest advocate. She helped me communicate my preferences with confidence—no second-guessing, no unnecessary interventions.
- She Comforted Me. I won’t sugarcoat it: labour is no picnic. But my doula brought hands-on pain relief techniques (and snacks, bless her). Her calm presence helped me stay grounded when things got intense.
How My Doula Empowered My Birth Experience
Looking back, my doula didn’t just support me—she empowered me. With her help, I felt confident, calm, and in control. Here’s what that looked like:
- Confidence Boost: Knowing she believed in my body gave me the courage to believe in it too. It was like having my own personal cheerleader reminding me, “You’ve got this.”
- Reduced Anxiety: With her by my side, I felt safe and supported. The constant reassurance made a world of difference when the intensity of labour kicked in.
- Positive Outcomes: I laboured how I wanted—moving around, finding comfortable positions, and taking the breaks I needed. It wasn’t a perfect experience (is it ever?), but it felt mine. And that’s what mattered.
Looking Back: Why I’d Recommend a Doula to Every Plus-Size Mom
Choosing to work with a doula wasn’t just about having an extra set of hands or another person in the room. It was about reclaiming my agency in a system that often doesn’t make space for it. My doula reminded me that I deserved care that was respectful, compassionate, and tailored to me—not just the assumptions about my body.
The truth is, fatphobia in healthcare is very real. But with the right support, we don’t have to let it define our experience. If you’re a plus-size mom-to-be, know this: your body is capable. You are deserving of joy, respect, and a birth experience that uplifts you.
