With the holidays just around the corner, it’s a time for celebration—but let’s be real, it can also mean navigating some tricky conversations with family and friends. Ever felt personally victimized by a “well-meaning” comment about your appearance? You’re not alone.
In a culture where thinness is often glorified, comments like “You look so skinny!” or “Have you lost weight? You look amazing!” are thrown around as the ultimate compliments. But here’s the thing—they’re not. Instead of building people up, these remarks can unintentionally do harm.
Why Weight-Related Compliments Can Hurt
When we praise weight loss or thinness, we’re assuming it’s always a positive thing. But weight changes can happen for many reasons—some of them painful, like grief, illness, or mental health struggles. A comment that seems innocent to you might carry a heavy emotional weight for someone else. Even a quick compliment on Instagram can have a ripple effect, impacting someone’s self-esteem more than you might expect.
How to Compliment Without Focusing on Weight
The best compliments celebrate who someone is, not how they look. By focusing on qualities like personality, effort, and energy, we can uplift others without reinforcing harmful narratives about bodies.
Here are some ideas to spark more meaningful conversations:
- Compliment their character or actions. Highlight their kindness, creativity, or resilience.
- Avoid words like “flattering” or “slimming.” These terms suggest there’s something wrong with their body in the first place.
- In fitness or health-related contexts, focus on effort, not outcomes. Celebrate consistency, strength, and self-care instead of numbers on a scale.
Related: Plus-Size Athletes to Follow
What you can say instead
Here are some positive weight-free conversation starters without focusing on physical appearance:
- It’s so great to see you! I can’t wait to catch up with you!
- You light up the room.
- You have the best laugh!
- Your skin is glowing.
- You seem to have really great energy lately!
- You’ve been killing it with workouts lately!
- You’ve gotten so strong!
- You have a great sense of humor.
- Your kindness is truly remarkable.
- I appreciate your positive outlook on life.
- You’re an excellent listener.
- Your creativity is inspiring.
- You bring so much joy to those around you.
- You’re a fantastic team player.
- I’m grateful for your friendship.
- Your compassion for others is truly heartwarming.
- You have a way of making people feel valued.
- Your enthusiasm is contagious.
- I admire your honesty and integrity.
- You’re always so thoughtful and considerate.
- Your positive energy brightens up any room.
The holidays are about connecting with loved ones, so let’s make those moments truly meaningful. Complimenting someone on who they are is not just kinder—it’s more memorable. Let’s spread joy in a way that feels good for everyone.
What are some weight-free compliments that you’d like to hear? Tell us below!
