PCOS: Sex & Conceiving

We’re excited to bring you another story from our community! This week Marylin is sharing her PCOS story and how having Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) impacted her dreams of becoming a mother. She also told us that she met her husband on a dating app! Here are a few more Dating App Success Stories.

Has it been difficult to advocate for yourself?

It was very difficult to advocate for myself before and after. My parents didn’t understand the urgency in seeking medical help and they had all my insurance information and would give me a hard time when I asked for it. My dad wanted to go with me to appointments and I felt embarrassed explaining my symptoms to the doctor with him around. The doctor prescribed me birth control pills to regulate my period, followed by ultra sounds to see what the cause of the pain was and blood work. My mom lost her mind and said so many things because I had chosen to take birth control pills. My dad also called me names and said hurtful things but I was firm on taking them to feel better. I was only 18 at the time so it was hard to stand alone and advocate for myself. 

Did having PCOS change your attitude about Sex?

Having PCOS changed my attitude about having sex because it was painful at times. I would go for months not being interested and that hurt my relationships. 

Did you always want to be a Mother? 

Growing up I knew I wanted to be a mom. I would walk around with dolls pretending they were my babies. In my early twenty’s I began therapy and realize that my childhood traumas were too severe and would not allow me to be an effective parent. I didn’t want to pass on my stress and illness to my child. I got married to my high school sweetheart and we, together, decided that we didn’t want kids, and would circle back to the idea when we were done with college. During our last year together before we got divorced I had a miscarriage. I cried a lot and fell back in to a depression. I didn’t want to feel that pain again so I decided to not have children. Wow, so thinking about it I did and didn’t, the duality within me. 

What were your thoughts about getting your tubes tied?

When making life choices I’ve always been a one side or the other kind of person. Finding a middle ground was not something I contemplated until later in life. When finding out I had PCOS I wanted the idea of being a mom gone from my head. I wanted to live free of guilt and stress for not giving my significant other a child. I certainly didn’t want to suffer another miscarriage, but in the state of Florida you can only get the procedure done at the age of 30. So for me it meant I had to wait. Which is why I think getting pregnant at 29 was a divine intervention. 

Photo by Drew Hays on Unsplash

Tips for those with PCOS struggling to conceive? 

A tip I would give to those struggling to conceive is the less you worry about bringing a life to this world the easier it will happen. Take all the vacations you want, and eat all the foods you want, the more relaxed and happy your body is the better prepared it is for a baby. Before I met my now husband on a dating website I took all the vacations I could, nothing extravagant. A summer in Texas or spring in New York eating and drinking my way through the burrows. I was happy, I felt healthy, and living life one day at a time. My husband and I will celebrate ten years together in April. We have two smart and kind children ages nine and six. 

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

Share one thing you wish you knew when you were diagnosed?

I wish I’d known that certain foods will trigger flare ups. My family and I have always eaten lots of rice, breads, pasta, meats and sugar. When looking for comfort foods these would be my go to, but recently while doing a vegan challenge I found my migraines gone along with bloating, and cramping. Simply by reducing or completely avoiding these foods. Especially a week before beginning my menstrual cycle.  

Annette Richmond

Annette Richmond is an award-winning content creator, travel writer, public speaker and advocate. Richmond is an immigrant that splits her time between Mexico and the United States. The creator of the fat positive travel community Fat Girls Traveling is a native Californian. Annette got her start in the fashion industry working in trend forecasting and public relations. Her love for travel inspired her to start Fat Girls Traveling in 2017 which is where she and Amanda met. When she's not creating diverse travel, fashion, and beauty content for The Fat Girls Guide she is hosting Fat Camp retreats and fat positive tours. In her spare time you can find her speaking publicly and writing articles promoting diversity and inclusivity, recording her new podcast, or sipping a margarita on the beach. Richmond hopes to continue to inspire other marginalized people to see the world and be seen.

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